Let's start with some background information shall we?
Our friend Julie invited everyone on our kickball team over to her house on Wilmington Island Saturday night for an end of season Low Country boil. (YUM!) Since it was going to be like a hundred degrees outside, my beloved husband thought, "hey why don't we act like those young sexy twenty somethings on that Smirnoff Ice commercial and get a giant slip n slide to play on."
I was like, "oh heck no... ain't no way this uncoordinated chick is gonna throw myself down and slide thirty feet on my C cups through a Joy soap filled booby trap of death... ain't gonna do it."
With that statement firmly announced to all, and cemented squarely in my mind, we went to Julie's.
The food was out of this world, but of course how can you go wrong with Low Country boil right?
Check out the aluminum foil table cloths... oh yeah we're classy like that. In fact, aluminum foil also makes a lovely cover for dirty chairs... but you've gotta watch out when you stand up b/c it likes to stick to sweaty thighs...
Aren't we a cute little team? Of course we were missing several people... they sure missed out on some good grubbin'.
(What the heck are Big Dave and Jen doin' down there at the end of the table? My husband's such a ho!)
Speaking of ho's... let's turn our attention to the aformentioned slip n slide (get it? hose? water? ha.)
Remember, I was NOT going to participate. But the guys were more than happy to jump right in...
Crazy fools...
And then Julie got into the action which broke the ranks of girl power...
Go Julie!
Bolstered by Julie's valiant efforts (and two large Hurricanes) I decided I might actually take a stab at it... I mean they were laughing, and sliding, and wiping the Joy dishwashing liquid all over their bodies.
It started to look like fun... maybe those twenty somethings on the Smirnoff Ice commercial know what they're talking about!
Yes... I would give it a shot.
My C cups led me down the path of victory after all!
Not really...
...truth is, Teddy pulled me down the slide because I lacked the necessary momentum to project myself properly. (I think it was my self preservation instinct kicking in... it just seems so wrong to hurl oneself onto a soapy piece of plastic.)
Unfortunately my self preservation instincts were numbed a bit by the pretty blue juice in my cup, and the next thing I knew I was up and at it again.
This is where it gets bad.
It started off so nicely, a perfect approach...
Then the dive... (this is where it all goes wrong)
See that stiff right arm? In about half a second all 145 of my pounds are about to land on it...
I managed to slide about a foot before realizing there was a shooting pain in my arm, and blue stars blinking behind my eyeballs...
Uh oh... I got up, did a three legged crawl off the tarp and made it over to the freshly cut grass (hence the clippings all over me...)
Ooooooooouuuuuch...
Thank goodness Kristine had the presence of mind to stand over me and take photos... how she kept the camera still while giggling madly I'll never know.
I don't think any of those twenty somethings in the commercial had this happen. Maybe it's because it's been seven years since I was a twenty something? Yes... that must be it. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact that it was TELEVISION and complete FICTION.
It's been two days and I still don't have full range of motion in my right arm. My elbow feels like there's jelly in it, and I can't raise it up to my head (which makes feeding myself, picking my teeth and cleaning my ears quite difficult.) I guess I'll give it a couple more days and go to the Doc if it doesn't feel better.
So now my tale of woe has been told. Am I an idiot? Um, yes. Oh my gosh though we laughed so hard that night... I'm thinkin' it was worth it. Will I ever slip n slide again? HECK NO!
(Well, unless they're serving Hurricanes...)
