~Cheetos would be fat free and zero calories. (This goes for Snicker bars, Oreos, good cheese, and McFlurries.)
~My dumbass, freakin', dog-whore of a leg would STOP hurting, and I could run the miles I need to get ready for the rescheduled Azalea Run (June 8th)... as of now, it ain't happenin' for me.
~I could poop every day. (Even without drinking excessive amounts of wine the night before.)
~My kid and I would NOT 'sync' up so that there are TWO females on the same 'cycle' in our house. (My poor poor husband.)
~Cats wouldn't have fleas. Or worms.
~I would never run out of Sookie Stackhouse books to read.
I'm barreling through them, and it makes me sad to think of life without a steady drip of Sookie.
~School would be over yesterday. I keep telling myself, "Only NINE days left... don't kill her." A non-violent outcome is still up in the air.
Oh but it's SO not a perfect world. So I will count my constipated blessings, eat some Cheetos, buy a worm pill for my cat, and read some Sookie.